Title - To Do Poor Sinners Good
Author - petenshi

Warnings - Preventer office, Heero and Duo, friendship
Disclaimer - I do not own Gundam Wing and didn't make any profit writing this.

I consider myself to be a reasonable man.  I understand the world is full of petty people, desperate people, and even just people who are having a bad day.

As soon as I saw Duo’s shoulders stiffen and his head drop, I knew something was up.  He’d been talking to Myers and now he turned and walked away, tension radiating off him.  I watched as he went back to our office and slowly closed the door.

Something was definitely wrong.

Grabbing my mug of coffee, I casually strolled over to the corner where the mail runner was sorting through a stack of envelopes.  He was a nice kid, working his way through college; half the staff had a soft spot for him.  And he adored Duo.

“Hey Pete.”  I sat down across from him, pushing a cupcake I’d snagged from the break room across the table.  “You should try one of these; Sherri just dropped them off and its got mint frosting and sprinkles.”  He looked up and I could see he wasn’t very happy about something. 

“Hi Mr. Yuy.”  He set aside a pile of sorted mail and picked up the cupcake, fiddling with the wrapper. 

“What’s wrong?”  I wondered if I sounded predatory and mentally shook my head.  I could be concerned and still pump Pete for information.  He looked like he wanted to talk anyway.

“I think Mr. Myers hurt Duo’s feelings.”

I consider myself to be a reasonable man.  But suddenly I wasn’t feeling quite so reasonable anymore.

“What did he say?”  I leaned back, slowly uncurling my fists.  Didn’t want to scare the poor mail boy.

“I didn’t really understand but I think he said that Duo only solved his cases because he knew what the criminal mind was.  And then he said something about the smell of the street and that upbringing would tell.”  Pete looked at me worried, working the cupcake wrapper into a little knot.

I patted his shoulder.  “Don’t worry about Duo.  He’s a much better person than Myers and I’m sure he’s fine.”

Pete sighed, obviously relieved and I turned to look at Myers.  He was sitting at his desk smirking and I wanted to wipe the look right off his face.  A cracking noise and then warm liquid poured over my hand.  Startled, I looked down to see that I’d been squeezing my coffee mug so hard I’d crushed it.

Nobody messed with Duo.  Not only was he my partner but also my best friend.  And he was a truly good human being.  Nobody was allowed to mess with that.

I was standing in the break room, trying to wipe coffee off my pants when the holly plant sitting on the table caught my eye.  I remember Duo bringing one over to my house last year, somebody had given it to him as a gift but he was afraid to keep it.  Apparently the berries were toxic and caused vomiting and diarrhea if ingested.  Duo’s dog, Splash, had a bad habit of chewing on the plants in the house.  Something poisonous was definitely a bad idea.

My eyes narrowed in thought and I flicked a glance over my shoulder.  Nobody was by the door.  Quickly I picked six berries, making sure it wouldn’t be obvious, and then wrapped them in a napkin.   Grabbing an empty mug and a metal teaspoon, I made sure no one was looking and carried it all to an empty conference room.

It didn’t take much effort to grind the berries down into a paste.  Nor was it very difficult to lace one of Sherri’s cupcakes with it.  Not wanting to get her in trouble, I grabbed the entire plate and headed out to the office.  Everybody loves a sweet.  And especially around Christmas, everyone loves a sweet with green frosting and red sprinkles.

I placed a cupcake on each desk with a cheery, “Sherri says, ‘Merry Christmas’”.  When I got to Myers, he didn’t even blink, just smirked at me and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth.

“Playing errand boy, Heero?”

I smiled.  “No, just sharing a little Christmas spirit.”

It didn’t take much convincing to get Pete to let me help him sort through the day’s mail.  December is particularly crazy with not only in-house correspondences doubled, but out-house as well.

And it put me right in a front row seat of Myers desk.

It was beautiful.  I could see him progressively getting uncomfortable; he developed gas and couldn’t stop it.  The people around him starting covering their noses discretely, giving him suspicious looks.  He rubbed his stomach for a while, tried taking some antacids.  Then apparently it got worse and he turned pale and started to sweat.  Finally he bolted from his chair and raced for the men’s room. 

Which was conveniently out of order at the moment.

Making a strange bellowing, rather like a cow, he dashed for the stairs, probably to the next bathroom on the fifth floor.

Pete tried to cover his grin, while quiet snickers were heard around the office.  I folded and stuffed the last letter and then stacked them in a tidy pile.

“Just remember, Pete.  What goes around comes around.”  I winked.

He stared after me wide-eyed as I grabbed the last cupcake off the plate and headed toward Duo’s office.

Nobody messed with Duo.  Nobody.