1x2x1, suggestive medical talk (!), yaoi, conversation, humour
For merith, with all her recent sickness troubles – hope you’re better by Christmas, love!

“I won’t take it.”

“For God’s sake, Heero, don’t be such a baby. It’s a special new formula that will blow all that other stuff out of the water. It’ll cure it all – the pain, the coughing, the phlegm. No more popping pills and gargling with that cough syrup that stinks out the apartment.”

“I won’t take it. You don’t know where it came from.”

“Babe, I’m living with you, remember? and neither of us knows where you came from. And why do you pull that ‘oww’ face every time I say ‘phlegm’?”

Because the word itself makes me want to puke. If I weren’t so sick, I’d get up out of bed and -”

“ – fuck me within an inch of my disgustingly healthy life?”

“ – beat you senseless with my four boxes of sinus medication.”

“Way to go, bully boy. You wield an aspirin like no man I know. Hey, it was a joke! Why not laugh instead of that strange, painful spitting look?”

“I’m trying to get you to show some sense. What kind of a nurse are you going to be, otherwise?”

“One that can massage that wracking cough right out of your broad, sweaty, hairless-but-sexy chest -”

“Hands off! I’ve told you, I don’t feel at all romantic while I’m so ill.”

“Hey, but I can feel the lurve well enough for the pair of us -”

“OFF! Give me back my sheet. Take that childish, pouting look off your face.”

“All I can say to you is ‘phlegm’.”

“And quit with the gratuitous provocation. Now you’ve made me cough again.”

“So you’ll take the medicine after all? Come on, Heero, you must want to be better.”

“I’m just being cautious. For God’s sake, there’s no label on the bottle. There are no manufacturer’s instructions. No leaflet of contraindications.”

“There’s a label with a jolly little reindeer on it and a ‘present from Secret Santa’ written on it. When I turn the label over, it says it’ll make everything better. ‘It’ll make a new man of you’ – it says.”

“So some weirdo from folklore gives you a sticky concoction like that, and you want me to swallow it?”

“Babe, in your time you’ve swallowed many a sticky concoc -”

“Enough, Duo! I’ll try a spoonful. Just one. Put down the ladle. Just use a teaspoon.”

“Mm… it smells good. Like chocolate. And raspberries. And that whippy stuff that you make with milk and mix in sliced bananas -”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can smell warm potatoes. And fried rice. Mmm… though I think I can smell the raspberries, too. But then, we both like them …”


“Huh -?”

“There! Just needed that cute mouth of yours open a little wider and in it went. How’s it taste?”

It’s… well, it’s really good, actually. I think I might try another spoonful. What’s the recommended dose?”

Plenty. There you are, now open wide…”

“Duo, I told you I wasn’t feeling like that. Take your hand out of my pyjama pants.”

“Sorry. Not. There’s the other spoonful instead, then. How do you feel now?”

Dear God, Duo, medicine needs time to circulate through the system, for the chemical elements to initiate the pain killing properties and combat the…”

“Phlegm. Right. But how do you feel?”

“Well, actually… I feel a lot better. That’s odd. My breathing feels much easier; my chest doesn’t hurt so much. I don’t see how anything could work that fast -”

“Er - hem.”

“Well, yes, of course, I was excluding you. And… well, yes, it certainly is very odd.”

“What is? You need more medicine?”

“God, no! I mean… I’m experiencing a strange side effect, I think. Do you think you could just take my temperature, or… or something…”

“Jeez, Heero, what is that?”

“I rather think you should know the answer to that by now. No, leave my pants alone, didn’t I tell you -?”

“Whew… been a while since I’ve seen it swell quite so quickly, quite so -”

“Duo, don’t embarrass me, I’m in a weakened state.”

“ – so enthusiastically, Heero! I mean, it’s bouncing off your belly already! There’s a delicious dribble already at the tip, and you’re bursting out, nodding at me, just asking for it -”

“Oh God, Duo. Don’t… I mean, do… look, please, ah yes… if you could just suck a little further to the left…”

“Guess it was right, wasn’t it?”

“What was? I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that to me… and why have you stopped? I need a nurse now, more than ever.”

“Sorry – difficult to talk with my mouth so full. It said it’d make a new man of you. The medicine did.”

“Ahh… I can’t believe its effect. Maybe…”

“Yeah. We can have plenty more doses of this over the weekend.”

“Oh God, yes… there were at least ten more spoonfuls in the bottle. Uh – Duo, careful, when you laugh like that it makes me – oh – yes, oh God, I’m very close now – but what the hell’s so funny?”

The ten spoonfuls. The careful measurement of our bedroom fun. We’re not limited by the medicine, Heero.”

“Well, yes, I mean, of course I know, I didn’t mean to imply any problem with our sex life -”

“Nah. I meant we’re not limited by this bottle. Santa left a crate in the hall! What’s that, Heero? Did you say -?”

Nothing. I coughed. Just phlegm, Duo, that’s all. Phlegm.”