Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, wish I did, just enjoy writing about ‘em for free etc
Category: Angst, some BDSM
Warnings: Yaoi, lemon
Notes: Duo is the most tolerant, the most easygoing of young men. His friendship is taken for granted – perhaps even abused. But he’s not prepared to let that situation continue - there’s been a change of plan.
Feedback: If you liked it, PLEASE let me know!
Heero thought for a moment that he’d gone blind.
Either that, or he was still asleep. And yet – he could hear sound. He could smell aromas. There was cool air around him, though it didn’t feel like any place he knew.
It was only his sight that had gone.
He blinked his eyes, hard, but the lids seemed to catch on something harsh. Something was bound over his eyes – restricting his sight. He fought down the panic, and as his head wrenched itself sidewards, he noticed the slightest glimmer of light. He was swamped with a shockingly pathetic relief that he wasn’t blinded – yet he couldn’t see.
He tried instinctively to touch his face – to reach for his eyes. He found that he couldn’t; he could barely move his arms at all. His shoulders were pulled tightly back, his arms stretched wide at shoulder height, and his hands were secured tightly, almost at their furthest stretch. He could feel the coarse fibres of a thick rope around both wrists; when he flexed his cramped fingers, his short nails scraped against metal. He was tied against some kind of vertical posts, one either side of him. The surface of them was smooth and chill under his hesitant touch; whatever else it might be, it was unresisting.
He strained experimentally against the bindings, and realised that he was also on his knees; his kneecaps scuffed on a hard, abrasive surface – there was no soft carpet underneath, like in his apartment. When he tried to move his legs – to struggle upright - he found there were ropes at his ankles as well, keeping his legs bent under his body, and presumably fastened at the other end to those same posts that held his arms apart.
He was held in this singular, kneeling position, held upright by his own strong thighs, his chest extended. He was securely bound, and obviously blindfolded. He gasped with frustration, his torso slumping gently forward, as the force of gravity pulled against his fastenings. His mind whirled; he thought he must look like a supplicant of some kind.
This sure ain’t
He knew the feeling of bound arms; he knew the feeling of hobbled legs. These weren’t the tightest ropes he’d ever known – his circulation was still healthy. He knew that he’d be able to kneel like this for some time, before becoming exhausted. But he couldn’t shift the knots; they were professionally done. There had been enough instances during the war – even during the fragile limbo of post-war, pre-peace time – that he’d been a victim of capture.
Is that where I am? he thought. In the hands of an enemy?
He struggled to remember where he’d been, last time he knew consciousness, but his mind appeared equally stricken. His thoughts were confused; his memory dulled. It was so unusual a feeling for Heero Yuy that dread seeped into him.
Dread. It was hard, like rough stone under bare feet. Cold, like the crunch of snow in his very bones. Powerful – because it had been too long since he’d felt such a thing.
He breathed slowly – to control his reactions. He could hear the harshness of his breath – he should be able to tell the dimensions of the room he was in, by the echoes and sounds around him. He was cautious of making any other noise, of inviting more danger – but he let a soft whisper out through his lips. The sibilance reverberated against walls that sounded thick; that sounded too close for this to be a room of any significant size. Walls that deadened the evidence, even as it left his mouth, and swallowed the echo with a chill indifference. It sounded nothing like the softly draped and papered walls of his apartment.
He knew there’d be no-one rushing to his aid. If he called, he didn’t think anyone would hear him. There had been too much trouble taken to imprison him in the first place.
At least I’m alive, he said to himself. His heartbeat hammered with the flow of adrenalin inside him. At least I have that left to me.
He thought he heard movement outside the room. Someone else’s whisper – some vibration across the floor. Whatever it was, it wasn’t in there with him, for he knew he’d have felt another presence. He couldn’t tell if the movement was far away, or coming towards him.
He didn’t know exactly when the other information seeped its way into his confused brain, but it was swift and shocking.
He was naked! He couldn’t feel any trace of clothing on his body; instead, he could feel the slight chill of a neglected room against his bare skin. He felt the twinge of reaction in his exposed nipples – the goose bumps that skittered across his chest. He felt the muscles bunch in his legs, and there was no restraining fabric. His nudity astonished him – and as he shook his body, testing again the boundaries of his prison, he became very aware of the soft shift of his limp, warm cock against his groin. He stilled himself, very cautious now.
I don’t know why I’m here, he thought. Stay calm. And I will presumably find out, soon.
He settled back down on to his heels, to wait.
Heero was aware of the other presence in the room, suddenly – abruptly. He was angry with himself, that he had little idea of the passage of time. Had he missed a door opening? A grille sliding away? He imagined that the air was a little fresher around him – as if a breath from another place had joined him here.
“So where are you?” he said, softly. It was important to keep his voice steady, and he was pleased to hear that his uncertainty was well masked. He needed to establish what control he could.
That strategy had served him well in the past.
“I’m here, Heero,” came a soft reply. Half of Heero’s mind was listening to the timbre – gauging how far away the speaker may be. Trying to measure afresh the dimensions of his prison – determine what new threat there may be.
The other half recognised the voice immediately.
“Duo? Is that you? Thank God! Can you get me out of this? I don’t know what the hell’s happening –“
He paused, waiting for the reply – his mouth had twisted in a grim smile, as he waited for his friend to come nearer. He heard the rustle of clothing pass by him – the breeze of another body circling him. He smelt the warm, earthy aroma that was Duo. Always the fragrance of the outdoors – of the sun, of cut grass; of nature itself. A fruity shampoo – an herbal soap. He teased Duo about it enough times – joking that the other man must be a mad gypsy of some kind, who’d lost his bearings.
“Do you think that’s what I’m doing here, Heero?”
Heero frowned under his blindfold. There was something about Duo’s tone that unnerved him. He twisted his head, frustrated at not being able to see the man – he tried to catch the expression behind the words. What was he missing here? His own voice was aggressive.
“Where am I? Why am I tied up? Do you know something about this, Duo?”
“Do you think I do?” The voice was smooth, and low. “Is that what you suspect, Heero? Or fear?”
“Wha -? Is this some kind of stupid prank?”
There was a soft laugh behind him, startling him – he’d expected Duo to be in front of him; he’d not heard the footsteps move away. Damn man was as good as he was at stealth! And even as he opened his mouth to protest, he felt a strong hand at one of his ankles, and his legs were pulled wider apart. His body bobbed down deeper – his knees scraped painfully on the hard surface beneath him. He felt the wrench of the bindings on his wrists, as they pulled taut again, tugging at the joints of his shoulders. He just rested there on his knees, legs spread as wide as they’d go, and his thighs shaking slightly as they adjusted to support the new position. He gasped with the shock.
He still couldn’t tell where Duo was.
There was a single, slow handclap. “That’s better!” There was a definite smugness to the voice now. “And in answer to your question - yes, I did come to find you. I came to find you – just as I left you.”
Heero was assimilating it all – trying to think where he might be. Trying to calm the shriek of pain along his arm muscles. Trying to anticipate Duo’s intentions. The Duo who stood close to him, and yet never alerted him to his actual position.
A Duo that he was damned sure he didn’t know as well as he’d thought.
“As you left me?”
Duo’s laugh sounded again. It was pleasantly merry – it sounded just like usual. Duo always laughed a great deal – he was the guy who kept everyone cheerful; who played the fool; whom Heero teased at will. Who laughed along with everything that he, Heero, ever said.
“Yes, Heero. You are, indeed – just as I left you. This is no prank. But then, that’s what you always expect from me, isn’t it? Duo – everyone’s clown. Can’t carry on a serious conversation, the poor idiot – can’t communicate except in jokes. Baka, baka, baka…but he’s always such good entertainment for us all!”
Heero was bemused. “So you tied me up? How – “
There was a waft of something passed under his nose – the smell of a fruit tea. Possibly still in the packet, because the aroma was very faint. Heero remembered Duo bringing him a cup. He couldn’t remember anything after that, though, could he…?
“So easily drugged, Heero,” whispered the voice. “So used to your dear friend rushing round, attending to you, bringing you your refreshments. You’d never suspect I’d bring you anything that might disagree with you. Do you even notice me, waiting on you?”
Heero swallowed. His throat was dry. The dread was prickling at him again. This was so unlike Duo! The happy, easygoing friend – the guy who was so helpful, who wanted to look after all his needs. Yeah, he let Duo fetch and carry for him – and cook, and clean. That’s what he liked doing….
This man’s words sounded like Duo – his body had the familiar presence of Duo; but there was something horribly off kilter.
“What’s going on, Duo? What’s the matter with you? Why have you done this?” Christ, was that his voice? For the first time, he heard it shake a little.
There was a gentle tutting sound. “I’m not sure you’re in any position to ask all these questions, Heero. But I do like you like this. Look at you – kneeling, submissive, head bending towards my feet. Helpless, unless I choose otherwise! You’ve assumed the traditional position of a slave, don’t y’know? And that’s a little how you perceive me, I believe.” His voice hitched up a little, its cadence a bizarre mimicry of Heero’s own speech. “Fetch the groceries, Duo…pay off the pizza man, Duo…Duo won’t mind staying in for the delivery guy all day…clear up the cellar, will you, Duo, I haven’t been down there for months…”
Duo drew a breath – Heero could hear it. His captor paused, before the words continued, a little more slowly. “Have you guessed where we are yet, Heero? Closer to home than you might imagine. I knew I wouldn’t get this co-operation without restraining you – so I took certain liberties. You can admire my initiative, can’t you? You so rarely give me credit for any of that…”
Heero knew about Duo and initiative; or thought he did. Duo was a good team player. Duo followed orders intelligently and thoroughly. Duo rarely had additional, constructive input to offer to a mission plan –
No, thought Heero. Wasn’t it that he rarely asked Duo for input? The plan was always in place, by the time of any briefing. He always assumed that Duo would support it…
He assumed a lot of things about Duo, of course. The Duo that he regularly invited round, and who’d always been keen to see him; who’d agreed to clear out a dank, disused cellar underneath the apartment block, that Heero had thought might one day make a good den. For himself, that was.
Which now appeared to be in use, instead, as his prison. Cold, bare walls; harsh stone flooring. Tall, strong metal supports. A cellar where he now knelt – as Duo so succinctly put it - bound and helpless.
For the first time, Heero felt the shiver of something that felt ominously like –
There was another brush of fabric close to him, and the shift in the air around him was as if Duo bent down to him. To release him? But it wasn’t to be – instead, he felt a cool palm, stroking at his cheek. He tried hard not to flinch – it wasn’t like he hadn’t felt Duo’s touch, many times. But never like this.
“Let me go, Duo.” He tried to keep his voice calm; to cajole. He wasn’t too used to that. “We can talk about it upstairs. Call the others – let them come and help me…”
Duo exhaled sharply – it was like the ragged edges of a scornful laugh. “I don’t think you’ll want anyone to see you like this, Heero! Will you? Do you realise how you are? How you’re presenting to me?”
Heero felt, then, the palm sliding down his neck, and over his shoulder. Goose pimples sprang up under its path. The hand travelled on, fingers stretching out to caress as it went, down between the planes and muscles of his chest.
His naked chest. He could feel the pads of Duo’s fingers, teasing against his flesh. There was no cloth between the two men’s skin.
“Why am I naked, Duo? What have you done with my clothes?”
Another laugh, which was as good a reply as any. “That’s no concern of yours, Heero. You look good in the nude, I must say! Such dark skin – such a shadow of muscle under every turn of your body. And the strength in your hips and ass… You’re wearing what I choose. Or not wearing, as the case may be. It’s for me to decide. After all, don’t you give me plenty of feedback on my clothing, time and again? What the hell are you wearing, Duo? This is a stealth mission, remember? Why don’t you plaster that shirt all over a web cam, and paint your cell phone number on those lurid colours, for additional effect?”
Heero tried to flex his legs; he tried to move his hips. He felt panic – an increasingly familiar companion – running tiny steps along his groin. He felt his stomach clench with the anticipation. Duo’s fingers rested lightly at his stomach, and teased into the navel.
Heero flinched, and the ropes around his wrists creaked complaint. “Christ’s sake, Duo, let me go at once -!“
And then there was the slice of sound through the air – a whipping, whistling movement that alerted him just nano-seconds before it reached his ears. Alerted him to twist his head and body away, despite his lack of easy movement. But he didn’t move sharply, or quickly enough. The sound was the precursor of a blow, and the blow was the ambassador of gleeful pain – a thin, cruel pain, tearing a stripe of numb shock across his skin, from neck to hip. He cried out a short, sharp sound. His body jolted forwards – then he rocked on his knees, and was wrenched cruelly back into position. It was gone in seconds – both the sound, and the pain. Leaving just the memory, and a dull ache behind.
A stick, Heero thought, numbly. He used a stick! Not a heavy one, or the damage would have been serious. Just enough to – discipline. He felt the icy chill of shock in his veins.
He gulped at air, because for a second he’d forgotten to breathe. He’d been distracted, because it was Duo. Because he would never have expected Duo to strike him! To hurt him. Not Duo!
“I’ve left you your voice, Heero, but you must keep better control of it,” came the low words. Something caught in the sound – some new emotion. “You must keep your position, and maybe I will allow you to speak freely – rather than insist that you only answer when spoken to. I can’t have that kind of language directed at me – I won’t allow you your usual aggression.”
“You won’t allow me -?” Heero swallowed his angry response, but again, he was too slow. Being slow wasn’t something he’d ever been punished for in the past. The stick came from behind him this time, and he wasn’t prepared, in any way, to avoid it. His muscles were stiff from holding his unusual position, and his nerves dulled from the last blow. He gasped at the sharp, slicing pain. He heard the soft twang of the weapon as it vibrated, and then stilled.
“I don’t want to do this, Heero, y’know? Though I admit it looks very good – the livid red slash on your smooth, dark skin. Almost tasty…. But I can’t have this chatter. You understand that, don’t you? After all, it’s what you accuse me of, so often, isn’t it? You chatter so much, Duo! Such incessant chatter, Duo, it makes my head hurt…!”
Heero hissed, and it was no more than a thread of ‘No…’
“I’ll allow that whisper, Heero. You can thank me later for my generosity. But now you must be quiet for a while, and respond only to what I want. You really do have no other choice. Best that you surrender to it, isn’t it?”
“Surrender -?” Heero had allowed the word to splutter out, even as he heard Duo’s answering sigh.
‘Christ, you are some kinda masochist, aren’t you?’ Heero heard the quivering thrum of the stick; he braced himself to take another blow. Was this what Duo wanted to do? Beat him into some kind of submission?
But the blow never came. Instead, Heero jerked with shock as something touched his lips – something thickly soft; both cool and damp. Living flesh. He had a fraction of time to consider whether it hurt him, or caressed him - and then it was gone. He knelt there, skin tingling in pain from being struck, unable to see his tormentor, his lips open in silent protest – but with the unmistakable drop at the corner of his mouth that was someone else’s eager saliva.
Duo had kissed him.
“Duo…” he groaned. He flinched at the memory of pain – but there was no immediate retribution. ”Let me speak, Goddamit!”
“Speak then, Heero…” came the murmured reply. The voice was to his left – but there was a touch on his thigh to the right. His head struggled to process the conflicts all around him.
“You don’t need to truss me up like this, to get whatever message it is across! Let’s talk about this sensibly. I - want to see you, Duo!”
There was a sigh, and a gentle snicker of laughter. The touch on his thigh had become the stroke of fingers. There was a whispered breath at his ear, and he was shocked to feel its silent suggestion run all the way down his back; he shuddered, as if a featherful of tiny needles had been dragged along his spine. The fingers tightened on his leg, and began to slide back up towards his groin.
Heero was determined to ignore the shiver across his body that had nothing to do with the temperature inside the room.
“You want to see me, Heero? That’s a shame, isn’t it? I don’t think you’ll be seeing me for a while longer. You can feel me instead, OK? I like this – I like you vulnerable to me. Because I can touch you when I like – touch you where I like. Just like you seem to think you can grope away at me whenever you like. Remember that slap on the ass last week? Just friendly, you said…”
“No –“ gasped Heero, again. “I wouldn’t – I didn’t mean it like that – “ But he was having trouble with his words. He was confused by the uncertainty as to how Duo would react; at the same time, he knew he was thrilled by the relentless progress of Duo’s hand, up into the bony hollows at the top of his stretched thighs. Heero tensed his body, but he knew he had no space to manoeuvre; to move away. With a growing, horrified anticipation, he felt the fingers tangle themselves almost mischievously into the hairs embedded at the base of his cock. His cock was exposed – he’d never felt that so keenly! – it was very exposed, and it was gradually becoming excited, and now he could feel its swelling weight, rising traitorously out from his groin. He could imagine the first, single drop of sensual excitement welling up out of him, out of the slit – because he could actually feel its damp heat against the receding sheath. Every effect was heightened – every sense was alert, and straining.
“Ohh, Heero…” sighed his tormentor. “Do you still want to talk? Or do you want to leave your dick to respond? Because it’s doing a damn fine job of that at the moment! Guess it’s the one sincere part of your body; the one that you can’t control – not in the face of what you really want.”
There was a slight movement, and Heero cried out as something cold and smooth slipped under his balls – it felt like the tip of the stick. He winced, even as he shivered with the touch. Duo’s fingers still tugged at his pubic hairs, teasing at the base of his arousal; but now the stick prodded gently and insistently at the wrinkled skin of his sac.
He groaned. He felt his cock rise even further.
The answering murmur sounded amused. “I’m impressed with both your size and sensitivity, Heero! So what is it that’s really getting you off? Is it the bondage? Or do you have a thing for the pain? Perhaps it’s the pose, Heero – the submission.” His voice dropped so low that Heero could barely hear him. “Can’t believe that it’s me, Heero, eh?”
The stick was dropped away, and he heard its harsh clatter on the stones of the floor. The warmth of a palm took its place, cupping itself under his balls, and squeezing less than gently. The other hand – the one that was teasing around his cock - slid itself higher, and folded itself firmly around his arousal. It started to pump him. Heero moaned.
Duo’s voice was now more like a hiss. “But perhaps a vicious hard-on is a little inappropriate at the moment, don’t you think? Inappropriate - just like me. Christ, Duo, I’ve heard you say - don’t you know how to behave in any situation short of mass destruction? Why do you swear like that? Why do you have that attitude all the time? Why are you like that, Duo?”
“Duo…” Heero whimpered. His thighs were shaking with the effort of holding himself upright and still. His head was swimming from disorientation; from being blindfolded. From being toyed with. He was deeply humiliated at his erection, but had no idea how to conquer it. And the caressing was more exciting – more erotic - than he would ever have imagined! The hand was dragging his foreskin slowly up and down – spreading the eager pre-cum over his engorged crown, again and again, slicking its path as it went; as it jerked him off. His knees creaked a little – his back ached, low down. His shoulders were straining to break free, and to grasp at the man doing this to him. He couldn’t have said what the fuck he’d do to him, even if he could. Dammit, his very nerves felt exposed, as if the skin had been peeled free of his body! He’d never felt so out of control in his life. Of everything! “Let me see you, Duo…let me explain…”
Duo sucked in a breath, and Heero felt the fingers pause in their stroking. With some shame, he felt his hips quiver, and thrust instinctively towards the hands that had lain on him – his very bones reached out, to beg Duo to continue! The man had such flexible, skilful hands. And he had been so close to orgasm…!
“To see me, yeah…” The voice was louder now, and harsh. “Have you ever looked at me, Heero? Properly? Ever wondered how I feel about you? Ever wondered what you might give me, rather than what I might be able to do for you?”
And then the tormenting hands lifted from his body completely, leaving him hot, and swollen, and frustrated. Heero was conscious, once again, of the ache in his neck; of the throbbing of his wrists and ankles, as his limbs pulled against their shackles. He was also conscious of Duo’s words – his harsh, bitter words. He tried to understand what Duo meant – he tried to remember the same things that Duo did. He’d never bothered to look at things the same way – never heard anything like this from Duo’s mouth before. Had he even listened?
He swallowed his groans, and turned his head, trying to pin down Duo’s position – was he moving again? Was he, Heero, expected to answer his questions? Or was he still under sentence of discipline, if he spoke out of turn?
Duo made a slight tutting sound. “It’s my turn, now, Heero. You’ve got a lesson to learn. And you’re gonna learn it well!”
The next sensation Heero felt was a fist, tight in his hair, wrenching at the roots. Dragging his head back so that his neck arched. He gasped aloud. He saw more light under the blindfold – he may have caught a glimpse of Duo’s body, but it was too awkward to make out any more.
“You think this is a game, don’t you, Heero? Amazing – perhaps a little shocking. But damned erotic, too. You can’t deny it. At least, your cock can’t, can it? Guess a splendid example like yours doesn’t lie too often…”
Heero was silent, of his own volition. It seemed that Duo read his reactions, as easily as if he were inside his head. He’d never considered that the other man would understand so much about him – it shocked him. His cock throbbed, and ached, and he knew that his entire, naked body was begging for more attention. He felt his legs stretching of their own accord, trying to press his thighs even wider apart. He sucked in his stomach, trying to reach up to wherever Duo stood above him. His tongue pushed out from his dry lips, and licked greedily across them.
Duo laughed, softly.
Heero was aroused, but he was still damned angry! “You’re the one playing games, Duo – you’re the one not yourself! “
A breath was caught, as if in angry response. Then a moist, rough surface swiped across his neck – Duo’s tongue. Heero shuddered.
“Who am I then, Heero?”
“I – don’t know –“
“You think I’m a fool…”
“No!” gasped Heero. The tongue was lapping – it was laving at the skin between his ear and his shoulder blade. His body shook, and jerked towards the stimulus, and his cheeks flushed hotly. “I never said that –“
“I’m careless; flippant. Those are words you’ve used, Heero. Not worth the attention. I have no control….”
The tongue slid quickly into the hollow of Heero’s throat; he felt the pressure of Duo’s lips on his flesh, and then the sensual pain of his teeth, nipping at the pulse there. Heero yelped, as quietly as he dared. His groin flared in agony and desire.
“And yet who has control now?” murmured Duo, his words hot on the straining skin. To Heero’s anguished delight, the fingers were back at his cock – they were building up a relentless rhythm again; pursuing the passion within him; drawing the thrill back up from Heero’s every nerve, up into his aching groin. The climax was threatening again, frighteningly quickly. Heero shuddered against his bindings – laboured against their intractable hold. And for the first time, he felt the thick softness of Duo’s hair – of the swinging, unbraided swathe, falling down over the shoulders of his captor, and brushing all over Heero’s chest.
“Your hair…” gasped Heero.
“Annoys you, does it?” hissed its owner. But he didn’t move it away; instead, he must have wrapped some of it around his free hand – another set of fingers was ministering to Heero’s body, a wild, sensory mixture of soft hair and slightly rough fingerprints. They pinched at a nipple – they dragged their tormenting surface across the smooth skin of his belly. “It’s a damned nuisance, isn’t it, Heero? Didn’t you say so? It catches in your mouth – it tickles you unnecessarily. It’s just another example of how I just annoy the hell out of you, isn’t it -?”
“Shut up!” snapped Heero, through gritted teeth. “I know what you’re trying to do! I know what you’re talking about! But it’s not like that at all – oh, Goddd…” A wave of ecstasy bubbled inside his groin; the muscles of his ass clenched, in anticipation.
“Oh, but it is, Heero,” came a hissed reply. Duo seemed to be panting slightly, as well. “You must shut up yourself, now. Unless you want the stick again -?” He started to speed up, pumping fiercely at Heero’s cock, and now the hair was tangling up in his wrists, and all around Heero’s waist. Heero felt a hank of it, teasing down his own back, sticking in the sweat around his crack.
Heero didn’t know which sensation to drown in first. He couldn’t have managed any words. It was all he could do, just to moan loudly, and lean in towards the body warmth that he could feel, so close to him now.
“Look at you!” laughed Duo. “Look how close you are to shooting your load – to creaming, all over me, and whatever else happens to be at your feet! I barely need to touch you, do I, Heero? You’re so desperate for it…”
“For – you –! I want you -“ Heero ground out the words, but he wasn’t sure if Duo even heard him. “You won’t listen to me –“ His head swam – he bit at his lower lip, almost breaking the swollen skin. He had cramp in one leg that wouldn’t ease, but still he stretched out beneath Duo’s touch.
“Don’t you care how you look, Heero? How your face is twisted with ecstasy – how your veins stand out with your tension – how you’re straining to milk every last drop of pleasure out of this! Don’t people look ridiculous, when they’re at the point of orgasm?”
His lips were almost touching at Heero’s ear. Heero could hardly hear the words, because his heart was hammering so loudly, and his own breath was so harsh. The hand continued to pump him; to torture him; to tempt him to an agonising completion.
“Can’t you reply, Heero? Where’s your need to talk, now? Don’t you remember, how ridiculous people look? Didn’t you draw my attention to it – to how I looked? And that was only the other day…”
Heero gasped – he spat words from out of tight, dry lips. “Duo – don’t – it was just a joke – it was all just a joke! – you’re twisting it all! I didn’t mean -” His body was shaking, his muscles spasming up his painfully restricted limbs.
“I don’t need to twist anything, Heero. It’s all truth. All fact. Yes… I see you remember very well. I just wondered – if it’s different, what with this being your own orgasm –“
The fingers pinched – they squeezed. Heero shouted aloud, feeling the fierce, rushing ecstasy of his seed, and then the glorious, imminent promise of release. He felt his cock swell more thickly than ever, and leap inside Duo’s hand – he felt the heat of an internal explosion, and a painful knot inside his stomach as his muscles protested one last time.
“Come for me, Heero,” urged Duo. “Give it up, and come for me -!”
With a gargled shout, Heero felt the streaming heat of his cum as it burst out, and heard the soft splatter of its destination on the ground beneath him.
And as he shuddered and hiccupped with his climax, he heard the soft laugh beside him – a laugh that ended on something like a sob.
There was a rustling behind his back, and the soft thwap of rope ends hitting the ground. Almost in slow motion, he felt his arms returning to him – a bending at the elbow that was no longer restricted; the pain of returning circulation. His hands were free.
As his body relaxed, even against its will, Heero felt the hand at his back push him forward. For a second, he was poised there, panting, his stomach muscles clinging to a fragile control, and his chest heaving with his almost painful breathing. Then he tipped on his knees, and fell to the ground, twisting his head at the last minute, so that he struck the hard surface with his cheek and chin, rather than his forehead. He thrust his hands down underneath him, to cushion his fall – but they were still numb, bending weakly, and barely holding his body. He knew his ankles were still bound to the posts. He grimaced at the shock of his fall, but didn’t call out.
“Now for the final lesson, Heero,” came the soft voice. “I think you’ll listen to me, now – just for a while. You’re always much more receptive after climax – aren’t you? And I need that from you. I need you to be – receptive…”
Heero felt the hands on his waist, settling him there, on his hands and knees. His legs were still at their widest stretch. It was an awkward position – it was humiliating. But it was bearable. His body still vibrated from his orgasm – his thighs were damp and sticky, and his arms ached from being tied. He tried to gather his shattered thoughts; he tried to moisten his searingly dry mouth. Duo shifted behind him, his feet stepping over the sleeping snake of the ropes. He placed himself between Heero’s aching thighs, and planted both of his hands on Heero’s buttocks. One hand traced gently along the lines of taut, quivering muscle.
“Duo – you have the wrong idea…” Heero started, carefully. He struggled to control his voice. His head was still full of nothing but confusion! There was also some unfamiliar distress, which nagged at him… He couldn’t remember where Duo may have dropped the stick; if it were still within reach. “I care for you, Duo – you must know that!”
“So what’s your idea of care, Heero? Now there’s a question for you, and one that I may allow you to answer.” Duo sighed theatrically, and ran his middle finger down the cleft of Heero’s upstretched ass. Heero knew that his muscles flinched from the touch – he felt Duo’s grip tighten when he did.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong, Duo! Why you never said anything - if something was wrong between us…”
A soft snicker from Duo. The hands slid into the split of Heero’s cheeks, and prised them firmly apart. Heero felt a pair of knees bump against his thighs, and he knew that Duo was kneeling down behind him, much closer now; he could feel the heat of the other man’s groin against his buttocks. Duo’s thumbs stroked gently at the exposed skin of Heero’s perineum; the touch of his skin was like electricity against the tiny, puckered hole. “Things have been wrong for a long time, Heero. Perhaps you’re right – I should have told you before. But you’re so rarely interested in what I have to say. And you’ve been so appallingly complacent about it all…”
Heero gasped – there was something cool, and gelatinous against his skin. Something being smoothed over his crack – around the sides of his entrance. He recognised the scent; he knew what it was without asking. It belonged to him, after all; the tube had obviously been snatched from beside his own bed. His body began to shake again; he cursed its weakness. For the first time in his life he wished he had Duo’s vocabulary – wished he were as articulate as the other man. He knew he needed to communicate with Duo – just like he feared he was unequal to the task.
“I never meant to be like that to you, Duo –“
“Be quiet! I have the stick here, beside me. I can strike you again – if you provoke me. I suggest you lie still, and let me do what I want. That’s what you expect of me, isn’t it? Oh, yes, Duo will lie still whenever you ask – for you to trample all over him. In so many ways!”
His hands were shifting on Heero’s buttocks; the fingers were probing at him, softly slick, and fiercely firm. Heero gritted his teeth; pressed hard with his hands and knees against the hard ground.
“Take off the blindfold!” he gasped, with the last vestige of his anger. “For Christ’s sake, don’t do this without allowing me to see you!”
There was a hitched breath, close to his ear; then one hand left his ass, and teased the knot at the back of his dark head. The blindfold fell from his face, and the naked light of the little room struck him like a blow. There could only have been a single bulb – it was barely adequate. But as he blinked furiously, trying to regain his frustrated sight, he could see the paving stones of the flooring, and the whitewashed bricks of the walls. A pile of something like discarded clothing in the corner, along with a couple of bottles of water; and the edge of the stick, lying on the floor, but just a little out of either man’s reach.
And then he cried aloud, as two of Duo’s fingers, sticky and slippery with gel, pressed firmly into his ass.
Duo was definitely panting, now. Heero thought he heard a soft gasp of delight from him.
“Ohh, Heero…you are so very tight…! I guess that I’m pretty damned stimulated, too. Your skin – your smell… But then, I’ve always been a fool for you, haven’t I? Since before you even noticed me. Since before you wanted me…”
Heero twisted his head, trying to see the man above him. He craned his neck – he could see the pale shape of Duo’s body, close up against his own. “What – what are you going to do, Duo? I – oh God, what are you doing -!”
Duo had twisted his fingers against the rigid sides of Heero’s hole, trying to stretch it. It felt like it would never respond – like it would tear apart before it accepted anything more. And then one of Duo’s fingers pressed against some spot inside, and Heero almost screamed with the wave of sensation – of ecstasy! - that zigzagged through him. Duo continued to caress him – Heero continued to shudder and jerk against the floor beneath him. The pulse in his head throbbed with every thrust – his eyes were struggling to focus again.
Duo’s whisper slowly penetrated the haze that his mind had become. “It’s good, isn’t it, Heero? But understand - I won’t do anything against your will. Not like this. You’re too tight – you must co-operate in this, ‘cos I’m not prepared to become a rapist. But I want to take you – and it can be with my fingers, or my cock. Either way, I think that you want it – look at the way your body responds to me! Look at the way your ass is stretching up for me – your hole’s flexing open, even as I speak; it's begging for me! I know you’ll never ask me, aloud – but this way, I’ve got your own body to admit its wants to me. And I’ll be satisfied with that.”
“No,” gasped Heero. He didn’t know how he felt anymore - he thought he felt anger – he knew he felt a furious desire. “You don’t understand how I feel –“
“I’d have to be psychic for that, wouldn’t I?” hissed Duo. One hand was tight on Heero’s hips – the fingers of the other pumped steadily in and out of him. He kept stroking at that sensitive spot, and Heero kept gasping with the inexpressible delight it gave him. He could feel a wet warmth against the back of his thighs, and the soft, sticky tip of Duo’s naked cock. He wanted that warmth against him, against his throbbing body – he knew that he wanted it inside him; he wanted it pressing against that same, deliciously sensitive spot inside his ass.
Duo moaned softly. “Be silent now, Heero. Spread ‘em - spread your legs, and let me in –“
“I –“ Heero’s throat was dangerously tight. He swallowed a panic attack – a desire to fight Duo off, but only because he was consumed by the frustration of his captivity. He was reverting to his instinctive reaction to an enemy. “Let me speak, Duo. I want you, too. You know that!”
“Not in the same way –“
“But we’re lovers!” cried Heero. “Aren’t we? For months now -!” The warmth was at his hole – the damp heat was teasing at him; a moment’s caution, before acceptance. Yet so impatient…
“Lovers? An unusually emotive word for you to use, Heero. It implies a relationship, doesn’t it? A sharing…an equality.”
“We have that!” groaned Heero. “We’ve been together – as colleagues – friends! We share things – God, we share a bed -! “ He let his head drop back down towards the floor – he no longer tried to see Duo. His ass moved automatically higher, and Duo’s cock nudged gently in at the stretched opening.
“So that’s what you call sharing, is it, Heero? Sharing a bed? So – nothing about the partnership on missions? The support of me as a friend? The respect for me, as a lover? I thought not.” Duo’s harsh laugh chilled Heero. The panic threatened to engulf him again.
“There’s nowhere that we’re more separate, than when we’re joined in sex, Heero!” Duo’s voice had climbed in tone. Heero could feel the sweaty skin of Duo’s hips, up against his own ass. His lover’s cock was pressing into him – slowly, but firmly. “I’m just something you take to bed when you need to fuck! Or sometimes not even to bed – for you demand sex when you want it; when you need it. You call the time; the place. The duration. The silence, or the noise.
“You call the shots every time, Heero. I’m not even consulted, except to take instruction, so that it’s more comfortable for you.”
“Christ, Duo, that’s just not true -!”
“You’ve always wanted to be seme,” stated Duo. His attention seemed to be concentrated on working the crown of his cock into Heero’s impossibly tight channel. He gripped Heero’s hips, and lifted him slightly, to get a better angle.
“I – I guess so –“ Heero grunted, and for a second they both paused in their writhing. Duo was only an inch or so into him; Heero was panting heavily, and trying to relax himself. There was pain – he’d never understood it would be like this. He had, indeed, always assumed he’d be the one to take. For Duo would always give. “Yes, I did. But you could have told me what you wanted –“
“You could have asked!” hissed Duo.
Heero was silent. He bit at his lower lip until it was a deep red. This time, it drew blood.
“Ask me, Heero! Ask me now, what I want! Or - is it still – what you want?”
Duo started to push forward again, and Heero cried out, softly. The strong fingers cut so deeply into his hips that he knew he’d show additional bruises tomorrow. The burn marks showed livid around his wrists; his arms shook, and his elbows locked, holding himself rigid. His mouth opened, and the sound that emerged was almost a whimper.
“Duo – wait - I’ve never –“
“I know, Heero,” hissed Duo. “I know.” And with a fierce rocking of his hips, he thrust fully into the ass beneath him.
Heero gasped. He gave a cry of some confused emotion, which rolled off the solid walls like oil off water. His head dropped down heavily, chin against his chest – his fists clenched against the hard stone. His feet strained against the remaining ropes.
Duo made some garbled sound, as well. His sounded like shock – and something like awe. He began to withdraw from Heero; so slowly, so tortuously – and then, with a sobbed exclamation, he pounded back into the man beneath him, more fiercely than before.
“Heero -! Shit…so good -!”
Heero’s head was dragged back up, Duo’s hand tight in the hair. Duo was stretching his chest along the length of Heero’s back; his own legs were enmeshed in the tangle of rope between Heero’s feet, as the two bodies rocked together. Duo thrust in again – he groaned, and the sound was pure, sensual pleasure. His mouth latched on to Heero’s neck, suckling at him. His free hand slid around Heero’s waist; partly to hold him up, and partly to reach for his rapidly reawakening cock.
“Too – much –“ cried Heero. But he arched up against Duo, and his arousal grew eager again in Duo’s almost clumsy fist. He lifted his upper body off the floor, Duo’s hand clutching him strongly, and the pair of them leant back, until Duo sat back on his legs, and Heero was impaled on his lap. The angle made penetration all the sharper – it brought the piercing joy of pressure on his prostate, along with the alien pain of invasion. His body lifted with each of Duo’s thrusts; then sank its weight back down on to its worn knees as Duo drew back out, preparing to break in again.
Heero had never known it could feel like this – to be taken; to be fucked! He’d never wanted this; never trusted this. Not even with Duo. Or was it – especially not with Duo? The closeness – the intimacy; he’d always feared it! But the shudders of each thrust ran fiery threads along the nerves of his whole body – he felt the prickly sensuality of Duo’s skin against his own like never before. He felt joined to him, in an entirely new way that shocked him to the core. Duo’s chest ran with sweat, and it stuck to his back; Duo’s breath was grunting with passion, panting its need – and it vibrated against his neck. Duo was in him, filling him; Duo was him!
He felt the climax rushing through his own cock, even as he felt Duo swelling inside him. It was over too soon – too soon! He felt Duo’s hand tighten painfully around him – and for the second time, his cum gushed out over the supple fingers, and this time down on to his jerking lap. He cried Duo’s name, loudly – something he’d never done before, even in the excitement of orgasm. It was something he once said was pathetic behaviour. Now he didn’t care that he did it himself.
And up inside him, he felt the shudder of Duo’s cock climaxing, forcing out against the straining walls of his channel, and bucking as it spewed its own cum up into him. Claiming possession of him.
And he felt a tear – unmistakably – falling softly on to his shoulder.
Heero lay, stupefied, in the cradle of someone’s arms. With amazement, he realised that they were Duo’s. He lay on Duo’s lap, his limbs aching. But when he tried to stretch his painful calf, he realised that he was no longer tied up. When did he release me? Did I pass out? he wondered. Was it that astounding? When Duo fucked me for the first time?
With uncanny prescience, Duo’s voice broke into his thoughts.
“Do you remember when you first took me, Heero? Did I look the same, as I bowed underneath you? As you split me apart, but I welcomed it, because it was you? I cried like a baby, I remember - but at the same time, I begged you to continue, because you wanted to take me, and I wouldn’t refuse you anything.”
Heero heard pain and wistfulness in Duo’s tone, and something twisted inside him. “Wasn’t there pleasure, Duo…?”
“Yeah…” came a soft agreement. “There was pleasure there, as well. For me. That first time - and since. A lot of pleasure, I must be honest with myself.”
“You were beautiful…” Heero’s voice was a little cracked. He was suddenly afraid of what was happening to them. Of saying the wrong thing – and making it so very much worse.
He knew what he was risking, now.
“You never said so,” came Duo’s reply. Still cold.
“I - was blown away,” gasped Heero. It was true – Duo had been the only thing that he’d ever desired that much. The only person he’d ever lusted after with such consuming, agonising obsession. The only man he’d ever allowed to touch him, in any kind of intimate way; and bedded more than once. He’d ignored what his heart may have been trying to teach him.
“I should have told you! I – never thought I needed to. I thought you’d know what I felt.” He’d thought it was enough that he wanted Duo – that he took Duo into his bed. That the rest of life could go on as always. That he could return to the same carefree ways, and the greedy immaturity that he’d shown all his teenage life. Treating Duo like the easygoing friend he’d always been – but now with added physical benefits. Heero struggled with those thoughts now; they made him flush with shame.
“Just because I never asked, didn’t mean I never needed to hear it, Heero. Goes two ways, y’know? But then – that’s the point, isn’t it? There was only ever one-way traffic with us. With you.”
Heero felt a dangerously tight pain in his chest. He thought this might be what loss felt like. Grief. Bereavement. He knew no words to express this – or to argue against it.
“It’s too late, Heero,” sighed Duo. His hands were surprisingly soft on Heero’s brow, as he brushed the sweaty hair aside. “Whatever you say, I can’t believe you. I won’t believe you! I’ve tried for too long – I’ve made too many allowances. And now…” he shifted slightly under the weight of Heero’s body, but didn’t move away. “Now, I’m just tired of it all. And I need my freedom to find something else.”
“No!” groaned Heero. He wished his body weren’t so awkward, or he’d have reached for Duo, trying to show his mounting distress. He was shattered by this strange epiphany, wrought in him over the last hour.
“You treat me too carelessly to really care, Heero. Your indifference is all that people see. All that I see. Nothing can develop from that; nothing that I want, anyway.”
“Duo – don’t! I’ve been wrong – I know I have! I want to give you what you want!”
Duo laughed, a little sadly. “Is that true, Heero? I don’t see that I should believe you, now. You’ve lied before; many times. Are you still lying to me now?”
“I never lied to you – “ protested Heero.
“You lied every time your eyes slipped past my face,” came the quiet reply. “Every time you laughed; every time you scorned. There’s no blindfold now, Heero. No hiding place.”
Heero twisted, to look up into Duo’s face, and he met wide, shining eyes. Fierce challenge; angry misery. Everything he’d ever ignored in Duo’s expression before. It was like he met a new man there; a new lover. Or was the change in him?
Duo sighed. Heero felt the strong, narrow chest rise and fall against his back. “’S OK, Heero. Guess I was wrong, too. For letting you get under my skin like you did. For thinking it was more than just a comfort fuck or two. For – loving you.”
This is all wrong! thought Heero. Can’t you see how I feel, in my eyes? “Did I never tell you, Duo - I loved you?”
“No,” whispered Duo. “Never. But then, you never have, Heero.”
Heero knew that wasn’t true. It was obvious to him, now - a knowledge that pumped throughout his body like warm blood. Now he knew how much he’d neglected this spirit who held him – this body that he’d selfishly used. Why hadn’t it been clear to him before now? Why did it take the sparking of fear in him, to make him appreciate what a man this was?
“No – wait!“ He protested. “Why did you go to all this charade, just to give up on me? Didn’t you say you wanted me to learn my lesson? You must let me try again! You must give me a chance! Damn you! Or - was it just for the sex, Duo? For the revenge?”
He raised himself back up on his knees, and turned, a little gingerly. The thin skin of his kneecaps was bruised, but now he faced Duo, properly. Leaning a little forward, he steadied himself against the other man’s shoulders, and lifted a knee either side of Duo’s legs until he straddled his lap.
“Take me again, Duo,“ he said, his teeth gritted with determination. “Do it! And watch every ludicrous, uninhibited expression that passes my face as we both come! Watch what you do to me – that’s what I can show you, to try to explain myself. To excuse myself.” He started to lower himself, rather clumsily, brushing against Duo’s half-erect cock; stroking it with the soft skin of his balls; teasing it back up to full swelling. “I’m fully aware of how ridiculous I’ll look – and, Christ, I’ll welcome it! For you…”
Duo’s protest was nothing more than a half-formed word, and a groan of desire.
Heero was tugged back down; he winced as he was breached again; as he gasped alongside Duo’s moans. But he wanted to take much more of Duo than just his cock. He wanted to be given that second chance. And God, he wanted to give much more!
A while had passed. They sat on the floor, leant against the cool wall; half-entwined. Half-embraced. Together – yet still apart.
Heero’s voice was low. “I want to go back to my apartment, Duo. Can I do that? Can we do that? I want you to come with me. You must come with me – I want to explain things! I want you to help me find the words…”
Duo’s eyes were still hooded. Heero wondered if he’d ever see the bright, wide trust in them that he once had. That he’d dismissed as simple naiveté.
“Can you learn, Heero? Can you learn to be different?”
“Yes!” he said, firmly.
“Do you want to, though?”
Heero swivelled round, his body stiff and sore from more than just rope burns, and he reached shaky hands to Duo’s shoulders, once more. The other man didn’t flinch away. For the first time that night, their eyes met on a level – clear; open; questioning.
“I do, Duo. You must believe me – I must make you believe me! Look – look at my eyes! I’ll never lie to you again, not with words, not with my eyes. Not with my care for you. But - I don’t know how to do all of it. Not alone.”
He reached lips towards Duo’s that were astonishingly tender – a side of Heero Yuy that no-one had ever seen. Praying to a God he’d never believed in before that he might be accepted.
“I want you to teach me, Duo.”