1=2, yaoi, lime and language, sap
For link_worshiper, because she’s back online and I missed her, and she talks sense into me ^_^
Heero frowned at his laptop screen and bit at his lip. He sat at his desk on his ergonomically designed chair and typed quickly and accurately into the Instant Messenger screen.
//You should come with me. It’ll be good for you to take some time out//
The screen flashed back just as swiftly. He read the words carefully, though he knew what the answer would be.
//Nah. 2 much work 2 do. Mayb nxt time//
He sighed. He could imagine Duo’s mouth grimacing around the words, well, if you could call some of them words. Duo’s text-speak got worse and worse, though he could always understand it.
//You shouldn’t work all the time. You haven’t been to a game for weeks//
Duo’s reply blinked back mischievously.
//Miss me, buddy? Need some1 2 hold yr hot dog?//
Heero couldn’t believe that a cold, two-dimensional arrangement of words on a computer screen could make him blush, but it did. Duo’s voice was as vivid as if he’d been in the room. That made Heero blush again.
//We don’t have to get hot dogs. We don’t have to go into town if your time is restricted. You could just come here and we’ll watch it on TV//
//*sigh* U have no idea how tempting that is, but I gotta say thanx, but no thanx ~_~//
Heero smiled. He never typed sounds and emotions, not like Duo did. //Were your grades that bad?//
//Grades? Yep. Whatever. I have papers 2 finish that’ll keep me bizi until the braid turns grey. Not as brainy as u, u see//
//Yes, you are. You just need to apply yourself//
//Nah. Not academic. Prefer going to ball games, as well u know. With u, anyways//
Heero smiled. It didn’t surprise him that he did, even when there was no-one to see. //I won’t argue with you//
//Nah. Wise move. U lose every time. Don’t have the brains, but I have the brawn//
Heero shook his head, still smiling. //You should balance your work and play more effectively//
//Lots of things I should do, buddy. Doesn’t mean I do em//
//I can help you with that//
//???? You mean with work or play? LOL I wish//
Heero frowned. Sometimes he wasn’t exactly sure what Duo meant with his jests, particularly when they were online. Of course, it was difficult to express nuances through text, though it continued to surprise him that Duo seemed to manage it so much better than he did.
//I think that you should look at some lifestyle changes// Heero winced. He wished he hadn’t pressed the return button so quickly, but it was too late now. He hurried on, to explain himself. //Your grades are more than adequate, and there’s plenty of time to improve on them. I can help you// He paused. He still didn’t seem to be expressing himself in the way he’d hoped. //You should be enjoying the social scene, too. Your friends miss your company//
There was a pause before the reply. Heero watched the screen, but Duo wasn’t even typing. Then it started up again.
//I’m cool. They understand. Don’t u?//
Heero flushed. //Of course I do// He hoped he did.
There was a further pause. Heero expected that Duo was making himself a coffee or something, though he usually typed ‘BRB’ or some such abbreviation. Heero had spent a long time working out what the abbreviations meant, when Duo first introduced him to IM. It took him a month or so before he discovered what ‘BRB’ really meant, after Duo had told him that outrageous lie, that it stood for…
Anyway, Heero didn’t want to recall that just now. It made him blush even more.
Duo’s reply was flashing at him. //U need to log off and get ready, game starts early 2night//
Heero grunted, though of course Duo couldn’t hear him.
//Xpect you grunted at that, H. How come u can tell me what I should do, but I can’t return the favour?//
Heero blinked hard. //What are you talking about?//
//U always tell me what I should b doing. Should spend more time at this, less time at that. Should b wearing a scarf in the winter, should b eating more, blah blah n more blah//
//Well, so you should// Heero replied, mustering some spirit of defence.
//Yeah, mayb// Heero wondered if Duo were laughing at him, or angry. Not for the first time, he was frustrated by the restrictions of an online conversation. Duo’s college was by no means on the other side of the country, but they still had to make an effort to get together and juggle school work around it. IM had been a godsend, at least for keeping in touch: Heero was amazed how often he used it and how long he spent talking to Duo on it.
Well… maybe not so amazed, when he knew how much it brightened his day.
But it had its limitations, like now. Duo had been less forthcoming recently – a little evasive about their regular visits to each other, and Heero hadn’t been able to obtain adequate explanation from him. He wanted to see Duo face to face; to question him directly; to tell him not to misunderstand his concern; to explain what he really meant to say; to see if he really <i>was</i> eating properly, to…
To see him. It all came down to that.
//Duo? Are you still there?//
//Uh-huh. Haven’t wasted away from malnutrition or hypothermia yet//
Duo was pissed at him. Heero sighed, and made a personal decision, one that he thought should have been made a long time ago. //BTW…// He winced at typing that, but it looked right, and he coped. //I’m not going to the game tonight//
//Huh? Yr grades crap as well? HAHA not//
Heero gritted his teeth and persisted. //Come and watch it on TV with me tonight. Come and have some supper. There’s a bus leaves in half an hour, can you make that?//
There was another pause the other end of the conversation, then a rapid flickering.
//This so u can monitor my calorific intake?//
Heero grinned. //No, of course not// There was no reply from Duo, and he was surprised to feel a bitter disappointment well up in him.
No, not surprised - shocked.
//I miss your company// He was typing somewhat more quickly than usual. He wasn’t sure his spellcheck was up to the job. //We haven’t been out – or in – together for a long time now//
//Got work 2 do// The reply was almost a snap.
//That’s an excuse// Heero snapped back. //Are you avoiding me?//
The screen winked sharply – Heero could almost imagine Duo’s widening eyes. //WTF? Course not//
//So is there some other reason you don’t want to come around to my place any more?//
More hesitation from Duo’s side. It was most unusual for him to be so tongue-tied. Well, thought Heero, type-tied anyway.
//Sometimes…// The sentence wasn’t finished. Duo entered another line. //Sort of awkward. Things r changing 4 me//
Heero stared at the words for a moment, then typed back. //So come on over// He could feel a bead of sweat run down his left temple as he typed furiously. //We’ll talk about it. We don’t even have to watch the game, if you don’t want to. If you have some alternative ideas//
Heero pulled his hand back but it was too late – he’d pressed return, and the words appeared, as bold as any others.
The reply winked a few times before words started to appear. Duo’s typing was always slower than his, but this seemed snail-like. //So… what the hell else should we do?//
Heero started to laugh. It was ridiculous, but even Duo’s anger was a delight to him. //You tell me. What we always do… or something new// There was no response from Duo, so he just kept on typing. //This is your turn to tell me what I should do. Maybe you want to tell me to go to hell//
//NO// came a swift reply.
Heero waited for more, but there was none. He guessed things had to come from him, now. He cracked his knuckles. He was ready.
//You say that things are changing for you recently. They are for me, too. Since you moved away, I’ve had time to think about our friendship. The things that I treasure, the things that I miss//
He searched in vain for an appropriate emoticon. It seemed that the only animated aids he had were his words. He had never spoken – or written – such things before in the whole of his life.
//I miss you, Duo. I want to be with you – or in contact with you - all the time. Your company makes me happy – it makes me content. It makes me feel truly, awkwardly, astonishingly alive//
Still no response. The ‘away’ motif appeared: Duo had apparently gone into hiding, though he hadn’t logged off. Heero hoped he’d still be reading.
//I would like our relationship to be something more than friendship. To confess to my own preferences, I would like it to be something more intimate//
He hoped that Duo would stop him right now, if he were making a fool of himself, or offending. Then he sat up even straighter in his chair and continued typing. Whether Duo did or not, this was cathartic; it was exhilarating; it was the truth.
//I’ve thought this way for a while but I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to tell you. I had never considered doing this online, but maybe it’s better. It gives you a chance to think it over and get back to me//
He imagined Duo’s puzzled face – maybe his shock. He imagined Duo’s hand running through his hair; his nose wrinkling; his mouth pursing. Especially his mouth. Heero felt flushed again. His hands started to shake a little as he typed.
//Of course, there are many times that you are deliberately annoying or obtuse…//
The buzzer sounded at his door. Heero thought homicidal thoughts about double glazing salesmen, but he carefully typed ‘BRB’ then went to answer.
Duo stood in his doorway, a slim laptop under his arm. His face wasn’t puzzled at all. It was flushed, rather like Heero suspected his own was.
“I’m getting back to you,” he said, swiftly. “Is that OK?”
Heero stared. “Of course,” he said. “More than OK.” He stood aside and let Duo come into his room. “How come you’re here so quickly?”
Duo put the laptop on the coffee table and stood in front of the couch, as if he weren’t sure where to sit. He usually threw himself straight down on the comfortable cushions and flipped on the TV or the CD player. Heero always liked watching him relax and settle, limbs loosening, tension seeping away.
Duo coughed. “I decided to come and visit you this weekend, anyway, just… hadn’t told you yet. I got into town this morning but then…” He grimaced. “Sort of lost my nerve. I sat in that café across the road for a couple of hours, thinking of calling you; pretending to do some work on my project. Then you came online, so I started to chat.”
Heero raised his eyebrows and Duo grinned for the first time. “Yeah, you need to tell that neighbour of yours sometime about their unencrypted network.”
Heero was still staring. It was strange how Duo looked so much the same, but somehow different. It was exciting. “But you pretended you wouldn’t come over.”
Duo looked abashed. “Suddenly thought it mightn’t be a good idea after all.” He looked around the room; he glanced at Heero; looked away again. “It’s been getting kinda difficult, recently, being with you and trying not to jump you. Trying not to say anything totally like a dork.”
“Trying not to jump me? Trying not to say anything?” Heero repeated. “You mean… like I have?”
Duo’s smile was broad, and obviously infectious, because Heero found himself grinning back. They took a step towards each other and Heero put his hand on Duo’s arm. Duo leant forward and touched Heero’s lips with his own. When they came back up for air, they both grinned some more.
“I have to book my bus ride back tonight,” said Duo.
“Stay the night,” said Heero, quickly. “Stay the weekend.”
They kissed some more.
“I couldn’t even have guessed how good this feels,” sighed Heero. “Not through IM.”
“You remember what I once told you BRB meant?” smirked Duo. His eyes kept straying to Heero’s mouth.
Heero frowned. He couldn’t stop running his hands up and down Duo’s arms. “Boys rimming boys, you said.” He’d had to go and look the term up. He’d done a lot of very interesting and shockingly thrilling reading that night. “But then you also said BTW was big, thick will-”
“Sorry,” interrupted Duo, though he didn’t look it. There was mischief in his eyes, mixed with something like hunger. “When we’re on IM, these things come to me.” He laughed. “A lot of things come to me, Heero, sorry if I shock you. The best times are when I’m with you – talking to you. It’s been hell, my feelings changing, my need for you getting stronger.” His expression softened, and he leant back in against Heero for another kiss, deeper and more confident now. “But it’s heaven, too. Like WTF could mean ‘want that feeling’…”
Heero shrugged. His tongue thrust gently, experimentally – and eagerly – back into Duo’s mouth. “I rather thought it could mean ‘willing to fuck’.”
It was very satisfying to see the shock on Duo’s face.