PERSONAL PROBLEMS?

By merula

“Seen it.”

Heero flipped the channel again.

“Rerun.”

Heero flipped the channel again, stretching out a little more comfortably on his half of the sofa, keeping his free hand on the neck of the beer bottle. There was only a little bit left, but he didn’t want to waste it.

“I don’t understand what they’re saying. Do you?”

Heero blinked at the TV. “Nope. I think it’s the foreign language station. We could put a movie in, you know.”

“We just watched a movie.” Duo made a lunge for the remote and Heero let him steal it. “Two, if you remember.” He began flipping through channels too fast for Heero to follow. Click, click, click.

“I do,” Heero glanced at the clock. Nearly 1 a.m. “It is kind of late after all.”

“Are you trying to tell me to go home?”

“Do I ever tell you to go home? I think sometimes that you’re permanently fixed to my sofa every weekend.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. But it seems wasteful for you to be paying rent for someplace you just keep your clothes at.”

Duo’s mad flipping slowed a little. “But I have a lot of clothes.”

“Three uniforms, some jeans and a few t-shirts are a lot?”

“Like you have more.”

Heero was searching for a retort, when the TV blurted out two words that no guy likes to hear. He blinked at it.

“What was that?” Duo frowned and flipped back a few channels.

A golden perky female smiled at the camera, holding up something that looked like a purple slug. “Our product is made only of natural products, found right out in nature and brought back to our labs just for you!”
“We’re very grateful,” Duo muttered.

“We guarantee that our product will help you with your erectile dysfunction problems-“

“By eating that slug?” Heero sat up a little on the couch. “How do you think that will help?”

“I don’t think it’s a slug-“ Duo sat up beside him and squinted at the TV. “I think it’s a plant- and you have erectile dysfunction problems? Is that why you never ask anyone out?”

Heero rolled his eyes and punched Duo’s shoulder. “I do not have any problems, and that’s not what I meant!”

“Uh huh.”

“You never ask anyone out either- you’re always on my couch every weekend! Maybe you need that product.” Heero gave his friend a smug look. “I can always call it in for you-“ he reached for the phone, and Duo tackled him. He heard his bottle drop to the floor, but he was too busy fending Duo off to rescue it.

Wrestling for a bit, he managed to reverse their positions, pinning Duo back against the cushions so that they were nose to nose. “So should I call?”

“Don’t you dare-“ Duo huffed, his body tense and tight in Heero’s grasp. “I don’t need that-“

“Really?” Heero drawled, still teasing, but then Duo shifted in a way that made him gasp, all teasing forgotten in a rush of heat. He couldn’t help reacting in that instant- pulling Duo closer still- and then freezing. What was he doing?

Duo’s smile banished his sudden fear. “Told you I didn’t need any,” He said, lifting his hips up just enough to prove that he didn’t. “All I need is you.”